I thought my son would be much older before I had to tell him about the Black
Male Code. He's only 12, still sleeping with stuffed animals, still afraid of
the dark. But after the Trayvon Martin tragedy, I needed to explain to my child
that soon people might be afraid of him.
We were in the car on the way to school when a story about Martin came on the
radio. "The guy who killed him should get arrested. The dead guy was unarmed!"
my son said after hearing that neighborhood watch captain George Zimmerman had
claimed self-defense in the shooting in Sanford, Fla.
We listened to the rest of the story, describing how Zimmerman had spotted
Martin, who was 17, walking home from the store on a rainy night, the hood of
his sweatshirt pulled over his head. When it was over, I turned off the radio
and told my son about the rules he needs to follow to avoid becoming another
Trayvon Martin – a black male who Zimmerman assumed was "suspicious" and "up to
no good."
As I explained it, the Code goes like this:
Always pay close attention to your surroundings, son, especially if you are
in an affluent neighborhood where black folks are few. Understand that even
though you are not a criminal, some people might assume you are, especially if
you are wearing certain clothes.
Never argue with police, but protect your dignity and take pride in humility.
When confronted by someone with a badge or a gun, do not flee, fight, or put
your hands anywhere other than up.
Please don't assume, son, that all white people view you as a threat. America
is better than that. Suspicion and bitterness can imprison you. But as a black
male, you must go above and beyond to show strangers what type of person you
really are.
I was far from alone in laying out these instructions. Across the country
this week, parents were talking to their children, especially their black sons,
about the Code. It's a talk the black community has passed down for generations,
an evolving oral tradition from the days when an errant remark could easily cost
black people their job, their freedom, or sometimes their life.
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